welcome back donkey friends,
this particular donkey has been busy with other duties than just grazing the fields, munching on hay making barnyard animal noises. i have spent a good majority of this time preparing tax information for my CPA so he can ensure i get a fatty refund. perhaps it is because i know the right angles, or perhaps it is because uncle sam realizes that he shouldn’t tax a f*ckin donkey - but regardless i am getting back my entire tax obligation from last year in the form of a refund. although it’s only a matter of time before the current administration attempts to frivilously tax anything with 4 legs and unfairly reallocates collected funds to support emotional causes built upon unconstitutional principles; so donkeys, tables, chihuahuas, etc. beware! i’ve also learned that direct deposit is always the best, because it can’t burn a hole in your pocket if there’s no check or cash in the wallet. in any event, i apologize to my ever so loyal fan base that deserves sarcastic sports content on a weekly basis.
in case you didn’t notice, spring is upon us. in carolina, the rebirth, flowers blooming, warmth in the air, and creatures chirping are taking full flight - so is falling asleep on the couch like a jack-ass with half a beer in hand absorbing as much free baseball as possible before the MLB Extra Innings free trial expires. giddyup! i’m not sure of this year’s time line, but if history serves us correctly we have about 4 more days of this ahead (that is unless you are a half decent american and choose to pay for the MLB package when this expires so you can watch future baseball at your leisure). nope, not this guy - the “college mindset” can never truly escape even the most respectable of creatures. the college mindset is one that thrives on partaking in anything free, at all effort possible. it is scavenger based, almost vulcher like at times, paralleling neanderthal type activity. it’s been a while since i signed my credit away to get that ugly citi financial t-shirt. i’ve come a long way since freshman year to quickly assess and pounce on the right “free” opportunities. and although i no longer believe i’d take home 10 bagels from work on ‘bagel friday’ to be used for the next week’s sandwich bread, i still have enough tricks up my sleeve due to my navy seal like college mindset.
any baseball enthusiast appreciates the beginning of april as the start of a new championship run. arguably the best postseason in sports, March Madness, simultaneously wraps up as the baseball season’s first pitches are thrown. every one can wipe away last year’s disappointment (everyone hurts when philly wins), and amp it up for the fresh breath. somehow, even my buddy who roots for the pirates has hope that “this is the year” (to get over .500), and i believe my beloved nationals will easily lose 120 games during this campaign. both contain a very high percentage of happening. i do give my buddy credit, he’s as passionate about the pirates as he is the steelers. ask any steelers fans for their pirates memorabilia and IF they know who the pirates are, at best their memorabilia would contain traces of clemente and stargell. not the donkey friend, he bleeds black and yellow all year round. god has a special place in heaven for people who choose to be a part of something miserable for 162 days a year.
this column got me thinking - i definitely want to know what the readers think, so please leave a comment on this blog article in response to the below question:
what is more likely to happen, the pittsuburgh pirates will finish the regular season above the .500 mark, OR the washington nationals will lose at least 120 regular season games?
leave your prediction in a comment, and collectively we’ll root for and against these teams. although it’s not rocket science to conclude that the nationals have a 91% likelihood of losing every time they sniff a field, it gives a partial silver lining to us nats fans when they put another tally in the loss column. i’m not a gambling man, but i would compare it to betting against your team in vegas. if you win on the field, you probably lose in vegas, and vice versa. so either way there is at least partial satisfaction.
and although it is too early in at 3 games in to determine the fates of each squad, there are a few things that we can’t ignore. the nationals stink. 1st inning through 9th inning, they just collectively stink. sure, they have some bats and prospects as well as some youth at the heart of the team which is always something to build upon. and i’m sure their pitchers may be serviceable at some point - but when your top “gun” probably wouldn’t make any other mlb squad then certainly we’ve got a disaster of a season ahead. no one likes their team to be a loser, but when your team is miserable you come to love it. i won’t be able to take my eyes off of the nationals all year in anticipation of going into the record books.
the pirates really have been on the verge of (extinction felt like a natural word to put there) turning the corner the past few years. with a team known as the ’steelers’ in town, and even a good hockey team stealing some attention it doesn’t leave much room for a team that hasn’t sniffed a +.500 season since the early ’90s. so until there is a real salary cap in baseball, and/or their ownership decides to build a team as good as that ballpark then the pirates can only do so much. in fact, i’d be willing to say that they’ve overachieved in certain realms based on their circumstances. they’ve had great under the radar team pitching campaigns within the past couple of years, but it has been overshadowed with relatively ineffective offense. if you don’t score, you don’t win. “if yer not first, yer last!” if you don’t win, your pitching doesn’t get the appropriate attention it deserves. i would love to see a true salary cap, as teams like the pirates would thrive because they have been forced to make the most of what they have. but until then, losing teams are always fair game for mockery by us sports donkey folk.
toodles, and happy jesus weekend.
Tags: march madness, MLB Extra Innings Package, Pittsburgh Pirates, tax, the sports donkey, uncle sam, vegas, washington nationals
Hello Charlotte. DcDonkey chiming in about the horrid Nats and the amazing Caps.
Its probably too early to say this, but the Nats may not win a game this year. 120 losses is quite kind of you, Borch-man. They may or may not be the worst professional team in the history of sports, including the WNBA. I guess the only consolations are they have a pretty sweet stadium w/ plenty of alcohol handy for the DC natives, and you can make a killing gambling against them, at least you could, if sports betting were legal…just be careful getting out of SE DC after the games.
On the bright side of life in DC, the Caps have the best player in hockey, and a really good chance to finish second in the east. Through all the depressing story lines in DC sports, the Caps have been a shining beacon of hope. They’re actually good. Every time Ovie gets the puck the entire arena holds its collective breath for a split second. And those of us lucky enough to have HD can actually see the puck while sitting in the friendly confines of home.
PS I can’t wait to see the Redskins draft another receiver or Qb in the draft this month. Oh wait, that’s exactly what they shouldn’t do. Does anyone really think Danny “I swear I’m not compensating for something” Snyder won’t do that though? Until he gets a real GM they just will swim in the mediocrity kids’ end of the NFL pool. Also, not to be a huge downer, but the Wizards will probably get the second pick this year, JUST miss out on the Blake Griffin sweepstakes, and draft some Kwame Brown clone. I thought Philly fans were supposed to be the pessimistic ones.
On a bright note, its Friday and life is good.
This is the year…The year the Bucco’s win at least ONE game more than 81. They could go 82-80 and that would be monumental for this hungry group of YOUNG ballplayers. It’s been since 1992 that the Bucco’s have been able to win more than they have lost. Back when they had names like Andy Van Slyke, Don Slaught, Barry (Pre-Steroid) Bonds, Jay Bell, Doug Drabek, Stan Belinda, Tim Wakefield, and Jeff King to name a few off the top of my head. Bonilla sold out after the ‘91 run. When you look at a current roster of the Pirates it is a bunch of young, unheard of players…players trying to make it in the bigs and make their million dollars one day - probably with a different team. That’s why I think this is the year for the Pirates to break the .500 mark and NOT make history by having 17 straight losing seasons. For many Pirate fan’s winning more than half their games will be similar to winning the division in our minds. It will get our fans stoked for 2010 and bring $$ into the team. By 2011 I don’t see why we can’t be considered a real contender within the division. Before I get to far ahead of myself, this season will be lead by the middle infielders, Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez. To quality ball players who can lead this team to win more than half its games. I vote the Bucco’s will be above .500 by October.
good comments fellas - it only partially dawned on me until i read the stuff, but the penguins and caps would be a solid match up. maybe there is a chance those two meet in the playoffs and fight out it out on ice with the best 2 players in the game, while simultaneously the buccos and crapionals strive for mediocrity. i do believe the pirates are on the verge of solid things, but at the same time they somewhat resemble money ball where billy beane prizes himself in putting together teams that will never succeed in the post season. that mccutcheon kid is going to be amazing, a true 5 tool player that the pirates have rushed who played well late spring. he resembles a young steroid free bonds when he was wearing pirate garbs.
what the hell is spanky lavailiere (sp?) up to these days? that guy along with bob walk looked like the way pirates should look. rugged, rough, and capable from swinging boat to boat to hoist some plunder.
snyder and cerrato are a bunch of retards when it comes to the draft, i don’t even want to think about that one dcdonkey. let me know your thoughts when that first pick comes around.
Not sure what Lavailiere is up to these days - probably sipping margaritas…with NO SALT, I Said No Salt. Classic line, FROM? I have to disagree with your boy Ovechk being the best player in the league….Crosby and Malkin should be thrown into the mix of best player of the Eastern Conference as well. Would love to see a rematch of the Caps and Pens duke it out. Too bad they dont televise much hockey in the NW. If they do its a canadian team and those canadians just aren’t worth my time nor my dime. The only good thing about Canada is that they border the US…I could go on, but I’ll keep this blog sports related. Should be a great Ball Season though - Im signed up for 2 Fantasy teams this year. Let me know if the sports donkey wants to start a league. I got nothing else to do at work - its a great filler and keeps me posted on the games! Go Bucco’s!!
clearly that is a milton wadams classic line. one of my goals in life is to find an identical milton wadams that i can befriend. having that guy at your side would be dynamite. although you’d probably get bored of him unless he comes up with new material and constantly hang around people f*ckin his world up.
i didn’t say ovechkin was the best my friend, the dcdonkey posted that (i see the confusion, as i am a donkey formerly from dc), but that is a buddy of mine. i don’t watch enough hockey to assess those things, but in my previous comment you would have seen i generally named ovechkin and crosby as the two best in the league - with their talent and youth the sky is the limit. not that crosby is overshadowed by any means, but having a guy like malkin shares the thunder on his team so takes away a bit of his spotlight. kind of like when you have two guys from the same team or conference competing for the heisman they kind of steal votes from one another. ovechkin is clearly the best player on that team so he gets all the attention. i just like how there are awesome players with so much youth, the sport needs that.
good call on the fantasy thing - i am not currently in a league but may have to be. fantasy baseball is a tough animal for a mental commitment, so if you know of any cool donkeys willing to play in another league holler holler son.
as a follow up, the indians are my number one team and who i live and breathe with for baseball, who i’ve grown up with due to my dad’s love for them through his youth passed on to our youth - and being a big time d.c. fan the nationals are my second team and only recently adopted cuz they haven’t been in existence that long - those are the only teams i actually call my teams, but my favorite division in mlb is actually the NL central, go figure. they seem to have a good amount of parity each year, and i think this year will surprise some folks. they are the division with the most teams that i want to see have success, and here’s why:
i classify the pirates and brew crew as the same, lovable losers that you can not root against - so i pull for them a good bit of the time basically out of sympathy. you can only kick a guy while he’s down so long until you feel bad, that’s where those organizations are. i also now root for the astros ever since my bro moved out there because that city is an amazing supporting community, for a team that besides being swept in the WS a couple years ago haven’t had any success. if it was a team that i didn’t like previously, or was a bandwagon team i wouldn’t be able to pull for them but i love fan bases that support teams through thick and thin so i find it easy to root for those guys. so ultimately want to see them succeed in that division but don’t mind it if any of the other teams other than the cards and cubs win it. my grandfather was a huge reds fan, living in ohio his whole life so we watched games with him all the time as kids. so i’ve always pulled for them a bit here and there in the NL but never really paid them much attention. i don’t like the cards, and the cubs annoy me, but wrigley field is the best atmosphere in sports i’ve ever been to, so although i don’t pull for the cubbies if they win that division i typically pull for them out of the central. although due to their overspending, desperation, and yankee-like pocketbook i am finding it harder to pull for those guys. anywho, there ya go.
lets tip some beers back to the NL central and to easter!
happy easter fellers
-jimmy
happy easter jimbo. happy easter to all, and to all a good jimbo.
in case you live in a dumpster and missed the pirates and nats slug it out this year, both teams failed miserably at their respective bets. i believe the nats only lost 105 games, and i completely slept on one crucial item about assessing the pirates and a run at .500. the pittsburgh fan favorite mid season firesale, this version led by mr. bob nutting - great name by the way. sounds like a good nut, or for a cleaner version you can roll with bob nothing. either or it’s got a less than professional ring to it for an owner, the face of a franchise. the pirates annually ship away anything with value for a mound of prospects. better luck in the future buccos, the league needs a salary floor in order for you all to rise up. the nats are at least willing to spend money. granted $10 mil for austin kearns wasn’t a high caliber decision, but where there’s money there’s usually an eventual answer.