Game 8 - FAU v. CMU
if you are like most of the thousands of readers in this great nation reading another sports donkey post, then you too probably have a hard time recognizing the acronyms that make up the two great universities playing in this ballgame. in this year’s mighty motor city bowl, the fierce owls represent Florida Atlantic University, and the Central Michigan Chippewas round out the rear of this power match up. or as the sports donkey brother would say, “which directional michigan team is playing in this game?” - just plug in a cardinal direction such as western, central, eastern, southeasternnorthern, and none of us outside the good ole state of michigan would know the difference.
enough is enough already for the poor city of detroit. i mean, what do these poor people have to root for? although sport isn’t everything, the power of success in sports can not be underestimated. it brings joy to people’s lives first and foremost. such as the saints - although the saints didn’t retroactively erase hurricane katrina from existence, their success following that hurricane b*tch easily provided an outlet of hope for that great city. the city needed the saints, the nation needed the saints, and new orleans needed to see the joy and heart from its players to help guide the rebirth.
in a nutshell, great teams help the economy as consumer spending increases, city government collects more revenues from excise taxes on hotels and restaurants, advertising dollars increase with competition, extra media exposure boosts attention to a city’s tourism sector, and so on and so on. it is a positive domino effect of income and growth. money isn’t everything - but when money can boost an economy while naturally creating jobs and force feed growth on top of stability, then money does hold the key to success. does money walk? i don’t know, i’ve never seen it loitering door to door in my neighborhood. but that green stuff sure does talk with a big voice and i’ve never known anybody not willing to listen.
where's this gooey blob when you need a miracle?
the detroit economy is laughable, the american auto industry is going down the toilet (natural selection phases out lackluster products, the government shouldn’t bail out sectors below mediocrity merely to keep them afloat), the weather is wretched in the winter, and banged up houses literally sell for under $10k on ebay. the LEAST that city could do is furnish at least one ray of hope in a respectable sports team (the red wings are great, but they aren’t relevant in the national sports scene, sorry guys, it’s NHL hockey and i’m typing this in texas) to pump hope into a gloomy marketplace. they need to call someone who can make that happen. the ghostbusters would have been the trendy pick because they did decent work in new york years back. but instead, the detroit lions were the first ones phoned. a stellar 4-0 start to the preseason led to the misery of 16 consecutive regular season losses. add them up folks, no nfc north title for the lions this year, and the zippy wins is a few shy of being in wild card contention. so who did we call next? the michigan state basketball team had the privelege to host the unc juggernaut at ford field. what happened in their effort to save the city? a 35 point thrashing by rameses and his tarheels as they booted the sparty out of town. and with the 3rd time being a charm, who got the final call? a staple in the motor city bowl, the cardinal direction central michigan chippewas and the 18th FBS team on the florida food chain in FAU. oh brother. this city is screwed.
as a country, we need to step in somehow. perhaps we can make a last second audible and sling the rose bowl over to detroit. maybe we can move the superbowl back into town this year. perhaps we can match up the michigan wolverines v. the detriot lions to give us a comedy of errors and settle once and for all the state of michigan’s worst team, ever. something, we need to make something happen as a public sector. that poor city has turned into pergatory on earth and god bless anyone for hanging in there. no one deserves this treatment.
anywho, back to this granddaddy of detroit power game. i caught a few plays of this one while periodically throwing my eyes on the tv, slamming houston beers in a houston bar with the sports donkey twin brother and company. judging by the final score at least the game remained close, a bit of defense showed up, and it went down to the wire. so all in all the game itself couldn’t have been too bad and certainly provided excitement for the fan bases. but detroit made a terrible mistake. the somewhat local team, CMU was making it’s third straight appearance in this game and is somewhat of the host team. if this was detroit’s last effort to spawn some hope into the city, they never should have invited the Florida Atlantic fighting howard schnellenbergers to the battle. it doesn’t matter if it is bernie kosar or rusty smith throwing footballs, that schnellenberger guy doesn’t lose bowl games. and i’m sure if they commemorate an owl burger and name it after him, you know that sandwich wouldn’t lose either.
Tags: central michigan, cmu, detroit, fau, florida atlantic, michigan state, motor city, owls, schnellenberger, the sports donkey, unc, wolverines
I picked DiagonalEastern Mich to win this game in bowl mania, and had a gut feeling Howard would have something to say about it. He did, he said “Hello Detroit, I came to beat your @$$, and after that, there is no car bailout needed, because I can sell a fridge to an Eskimo. ” Legend has it that Howard has sold a good amount of Ford Focuses in the past few days, solidifying this stellar second tier BCS bowl caliber game for years to come.
Not sure if above happened, but I haven’t read anything that says it hasn’t. It’s so true, even if there are good games, no one cares unless your school has been heard of, which means winning at a high level or in a conference worth a darn.
if schnellenberger can push a ford focus or two he can certainly save this country. obama needs to get howard in office, somewhere.