Game 5 - Southern Miss v. Troy
ugh, i watched only a few minutes of this game. just in time to hear that my mighty men from troy had given up a 10 point lead in a game they had controlled. if those poopheads realized i had over 15 confidence points on this game then perhaps they’d try a little harder. i quickly look up the phone number to the new orleans superdome, and give them a jingle. nice people down in nawleans, but i’m still a bit frustrated that they wouldn’t let me talk to Troy’s coach and explain how their win in this game meant the world to me in bowl mania and that a last second victory should be mandated.
only two things are worthy of commentary on this game. the superdome is a happy place in comparison to topicana field which gives me the willies. new orleans is a proud culture, lively, full of excitement and pride. they support the saints who have never given them anything to really celebrate. when watching a game in the superdome not only is it a well lit field, but you can just feel the energy pouring in from bourbon street and the french quarter. immediately you feel involved in the game in a positive way.
secondly, the troy kicker makes me laugh. not too often can you see grown men act out their 5 year old internal monologue through the constant throwing and slamming of sports equipment, and in this case his maroon helmet. and normally it’s a guy who has a long standing impact on the game such as a position player who sees a lot of action. not a guy who kicks the occasional field goal. and since it was blocked, it certainly wasn’t as bad as shanking it wide right. at least if it’s blocked, then people don’t point the finger solely at the kicker like he lost the game all by his lonesome. i think a guy by the name of scott norwood might know something about this. i’m sure it sucks to lose a game by having a sub 35 yard field goal blocked in OT to lose after you’ve controlled the game, but i didn’t know that slamming a maroon helmet on at least 5 different occasions provided instant gratification - but it sure was funny as hell to watch him try. i personally would have opted to drink 8 quarts of liquor instead of slamming the helmet because i hear that works, but unfortunately pat o’ briens wasn’t catering this bowl game with his infamous hurricanes as refreshments.
they need to let this guy cater the next new orleans bowl
next time, the superdome should allow bourbon street to set up a strip of bars along the side line. fill the makeshift bars with plenty of spirits and overly alcoholized beverages. build a couple of balconies and allow morally challenged women to work hard for those 3 cent strands of beads to keep the crowd entertained. it would become the first pre-new years day bowl game to come close to selling out. i then think we’d all be able to find some sort of yearly satisfaction in this bowl game like we were contributing to a noble cause such as the salvation army. we’d feel good about rebuilding a proud city. dirty money is still money, and it’s still green when you clean the booze and boobs off of it.
Tags: College Football, new orleans, pat o' brien's, saints, scott norwood, southern miss, the sports donkey, trojans, troy
I can’t wait until they do the bowl highlights, as they clearly need to plug in that 10 pound kicker tossing his helmet down, just like someone stole his play-doh. As if he really was going to win that game.